我在這裡，請差遣我（賽6章）

 我又聽見主的聲音說：「我可以差遣誰呢？誰肯為我們去呢？」我說：「我在這裏、請差遣我。」（賽 6：8）

烏西雅王是猶大國極強盛時期的國王，本章第一節即提到烏西雅王崩，言談之間透露出當時人們心中強烈地恐懼、戰兢與不安。因為：這麼偉大的領導者死了，我們該怎麼辦？記得當1975年台灣一代強人蔣中正逝世時，當下台灣也曾陷入極度恐懼之中，因為國人心中所以為的那位強而有力的保障死了，誰還能來保護台灣？但是五十多年過去了，台灣依然屹立不搖，因為，在這裡有神的計劃，就是有世界的宣道與差傳中心「台灣的真耶穌教會」在台灣。而且，台灣的平安靠的不是任何人的努力，而是神的救贖計劃。

人往往要等到依靠被取走時，才容易看得見神。這裡說：「當烏西雅王崩的那年、我見主坐在高高的寶座上．他的衣裳垂下、遮滿聖殿。」（賽 6：1）。是的！烏西雅王崩，先知以賽亞才能看見主坐在高高的寶座上。烏西雅王不崩，先知可能一直沈醉在王的保護之中，看不見神。不但如此，那代表神能力的衣裳下垂，「遮滿聖殿」。可見神的能力依然存在，而且全然覆蔽著神的殿，因神要與我們同在，我們總不要懼怕！

緊接著是信心的回應。信心，往往要有行動作為證明，因為信心沒有行為是死的。先知以賽亞既然看見神，他要如何回應對神的信心？這時當神發出邀請：「我可以差遣誰呢？誰肯為我們去呢？」先知以賽亞在聽見的當下，立即勇敢地回應：「我在這裏、請差遣我。」

然而蒙差遣之前，工人自己要先懂得自卑，也就是自我省察，追求聖潔。當先知以賽亞看見神時，第一的念頭就是看見自己的不配與污穢。這時，人若不聖潔，神也不會用他作為祂的工人。因此：

那時我說：「禍哉、我滅亡了．因為我是嘴唇不潔的人、又住在嘴唇不潔的民中．又因我眼見大君王萬軍之耶和華。」有一撒拉弗飛到我跟前、手裏拿着紅炭、是用火剪從壇上取下來的．將炭沾我的口、說：「看哪、這炭沾了你的嘴．你的罪孽便除掉、你的罪惡就赦免了。」（賽 6：5-7）

當以賽亞自省、自卑、自覺不配，神就差派天使撒拉弗以燒紅的炭沾他的口，如同用焚燒的聖靈，燒掉他的罪孽、和一切的罪惡。聖潔了，神才對他發出先知差遣的邀請。

記得筆者在2003年時，因為孩子肺炎極為嚴重，雖有就醫，卻因種種原因，將孩子帶回家中不斷地向神禱告。我跪在孩子的床邊，為孩子禱告到凌晨三點時，神在我眼前出現黑底白字：「如果今晚我要帶走你的兒子，你可願意？」當下因為已禱告數個小時，聖靈極為充滿，突然感覺裡頭有一股力量，幫助我勇敢回應神所要的答案。當時我的意識仍是清楚的，我也清楚知道我若回應「我願意」，我的孩子就會死。當下卻沒有猶豫，就對神回應：「我願意！」當我說出我願意時，兒子一直持續的急促氣喘聲就不見了。我以為主已帶走了他，我止不住不斷湧出的淚水，但是知道這是神所喜悅的回應，我就接受。

當我打開眼睛，才知道孩子病好了，退燒了，呼吸也順暢了。原來在一年之後，2004年10月2日被按立為執事，在這之前，神要知道我是否願意完全捨己、順服，做祂忠心的僕人。因為神的工人，只能完全服從，不能有自我的意見。

多年以後，這樣的經驗時時提醒著我：要時時保持聖靈充滿，才能做出神所喜悅的決策。因為聖靈充滿時，人才能無我、完全捨己，否定自己，不受情慾影響神國的決定，如此才能成為主忠心的僕人。

今天，要成為神所重用的人，都是必須要經過考驗的。我們願意效法主，像主一樣只照神的旨意，可以不要照自己的意思嗎？還有，當主發出邀請時，我們願意接受主的差遣嗎？

他就稍往前走、俯伏在地、禱告說：「我父阿、倘若可行、求你叫這杯離開我．然而不要照我的意思、只要照你的意思。」（太 26：39）

By Isaiah Kao

Here Am I, Send Me (Isaiah 6)

“I also heard the voice of the Lord, saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?’ Then I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” (Isaiah 6:8, NASB 2020)

King Uzziah was a king during the most prosperous period of the kingdom of Judah. In the very first verse of this chapter, it mentions the death of King Uzziah. Between the lines, we can sense the deep fear, trembling, and unrest in people’s hearts at that time. Because such a great leader had died, what were they supposed to do?

It is like when Chiang Kai-shek, a powerful leader of Taiwan, passed away in 1975. At that moment, Taiwan also fell into great fear, because the one whom people thought was their strong protection had died. Who could protect Taiwan now? Yet more than fifty years have passed, and Taiwan still stands firm. This is because there is God’s plan here, the center of worldwide evangelism and mission, the True Jesus Church in Taiwan. Moreover, Taiwan’s peace does not rely on any human effort, but on God’s plan of salvation.

People often only see God clearly when what they rely on is taken away. Here it says: “In the year of King Uzziah’s death I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, lofty and exalted, with the train of His robe filling the temple.” (Isaiah 6:1, NASB 2020)

Yes! It was when King Uzziah died that the prophet Isaiah was able to see the Lord seated on the high and exalted throne. If King Uzziah had not died, the prophet might have remained immersed in the king’s protection and failed to see God. Not only that, but the robe that represents God’s power was hanging down, “filling the temple.” This shows that God’s power still exists and completely covers His temple. Since God is with us, we should not be afraid.

What follows is a response of faith. Faith must be proven by action, for faith without works is dead. Since the prophet Isaiah saw God, how did he respond in faith? When God gave the invitation, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Isaiah immediately and courageously responded, “Here am I. Send me.”

However, before being sent, the worker must first learn humility—that is, self-examination and the pursuit of holiness. When Isaiah saw God, his first thought was his own unworthiness and uncleanness. If a person is not holy, God will not use him as His worker. Therefore:

“Then I said, ‘Woe to me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of armies.’ Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal in his hand, which he had taken from the altar with tongs. He touched my mouth with it and said, ‘Behold, this has touched your lips; and your guilt is taken away and atonement is made for your sin.’” (Isaiah 6:5–7, NASB 2020)

When Isaiah examined himself, humbled himself, and realized his unworthiness, God sent a seraph to touch his lips with a burning coal. This was like using the burning Holy Spirit to remove his guilt and cleanse all his sins. Only after being made holy did God invite him to be sent as a prophet.

I remember in 2003, when my child had a very severe case of pneumonia. Although we sought medical treatment, for various reasons we brought the child home and continued to pray to God. I knelt beside the child’s bed and prayed until three in the morning. At that moment, God showed these words before my eyes in white letters on a black background: “If tonight I were to take your son away, would you be willing?”

At that time, after praying for several hours, I was filled with the Holy Spirit. Suddenly, I felt a strength within me that enabled me to respond courageously with the answer God desired. My consciousness was clear, and I knew that if I said “I am willing,” my child would die. Yet without hesitation, I responded to God, “I am willing!” The moment I said those words, the child’s rapid breathing stopped. I thought the Lord had taken him away. Tears flowed uncontrollably, yet I accepted it, knowing this was a response pleasing to God.

When I opened my eyes, I realized that the child had recovered. The fever was gone, and breathing was normal. It turned out that a year later, on October 2, 2004, I was ordained as a deacon. Before that, God needed to know whether I was willing to completely deny myself, submit, and become His faithful servant. For God’s worker must fully obey, without insisting on personal opinions.

Many years later, this experience still reminds me: we must always remain filled with the Holy Spirit in order to make decisions that please God. Only when filled with the Holy Spirit can a person deny self, fully surrender, reject personal desires, and not let fleshly emotions affect decisions in God’s kingdom. In this way, one can become a faithful servant of the Lord.

Today, anyone who is greatly used by God must go through testing. Are we willing to follow the Lord and do only God’s will, not our own? And when the Lord gives His call, are we willing to accept His sending?

“And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.’” (Matthew 26:39, NASB 2020)