一個曾經不知認罪的見證（箴28章）

遮掩自己罪過的、必不亨通．承認離棄罪過的、必蒙憐恤。（箴 28：13）

人隨著年紀的增長、位份的增加，常常不知不覺就失去了反省的能力，以致於不知認錯，最後成為愚頑人。即使受洗歸入基督後，洗去的是罪身，但罪性卻未完全洗去，這遺留的罪性，是日後自己的敵人，認罪悔改成了每日要靈修的重點。

豈不知我們這受洗歸入基督耶穌的人、是受洗歸入他的死麼。........因為知道我們的舊人、和他同釘十字架、使罪身滅絕、叫我們不再作罪的奴僕．（羅 6：3、6）

若有人認為自己已經完全了，就是自欺了。人在充滿灰塵、情慾、物慾的環境中，怎可能完全不染塵埃？這時，讀經、反省、悔改、行道，就是每日必備的功課。

我們若說自己沒有犯過罪、便是以神為說謊的．他的道也不在我們心裏了。（約壹 1：10）

要用水藉着道、把教會洗淨、成為聖潔、可以獻給自己、作個榮耀的教會、毫無玷污皺紋等類的病、乃是聖潔沒有瑕疵的。（弗 5：26-27）

為了面子，不肯認錯，不會亨通的。願意自己謙卑，承認並離棄罪過的，神必憐憫，必依照祂的旨意赦免我們一切的罪。若不藉著每天用「道」洗淨靈魂，時候到了，一身髒兮兮的，如何進天城？每天讀經、用道洗淨，每天乾淨入眠，每天都有得救的盼望。不讀經，看不到自己的罪，因為讀經是照靈魂的鏡子，沒有照鏡子的人，看不到自己的問題。不讀經的神的工人，總是自我感覺良好，將越事奉、越驕傲。

只是你們要行道、不要單單聽道、自己欺哄自己．因為聽道而不行道的、就像人對着鏡子看自己本來的面目．看見、走後、隨即忘了他的相貌如何。惟有詳細察看那全備使人自由之律法的、並且時常如此、這人既不是聽了就忘、乃是實在行出來、就在他所行的事上必然得福。（雅 1：22-25）

我曾遇過一位年長的教會同靈，他願意每個安息日中午禁食禱告，一直到下午聚會才停下來。但是，他自身卻有很多「人和」的問題，常常與人格格不入。即便如此，他仍以「禁食禱告」洋洋得意，自認為自己對靈修非常追求。即便傳道、長執曾跟他「勸」過關於他的問題，但是，他不改就是不改。就像箴言這裡說的：

轉耳不聽律法的、他的祈禱也為可憎。（箴 28：9）

不聽律法，就如同是今天不接受道理的洗淨，不接受人的勸誡，也不願每日讀經、天天自省，這樣，即使禱告再多也是枉然。

我們當深深考察自己的行為、再歸向耶和華。我們當誠心向天上的神舉手禱告。我們犯罪背逆、你並不赦免。你自被怒氣遮蔽、追趕我們．你施行殺戮、並不顧惜。你以黑雲遮蔽自己、以致禱告不得透入。（哀 3：40-44）

常常聽到這位年長同靈跟人嘆氣說，他所遇到的問題跟神禱告那麼久了，怎麼都沒解決？唉！他不知道他的禱告都已經被神的怒氣隔絕了，「從來」都沒有達到神面前。因為：

常存敬畏的、便為有福．心存剛硬的、必陷在禍患裏。（箴 28：14）

但是，何謂錯？記得我高中一年級時，國中的導師舉辦畢業生同學會，卻辦在西門教會的靈恩會聖餐禮的時候。當時我折衷做了一個決定：靈恩會聖餐禮時去參加同學會一下下，然後趕回來領聖餐。我就這麼做了，沒有聽到靈恩會的道理，只有匆匆忙忙趕回來領聖餐。

當夜突然不明原因高燒，體溫保持在三十九度多。父母帶我去附近診所看醫生、吃藥，都沒效。父親要求全家每天晚上晚餐後一起為我的高燒禱告，但是都沒有退燒。那星期，我都沒去上學。有一天家父帶我到嘉義教會的弟兄李長鴻醫師那裡就醫，看看有沒有更好的方法？驗了血，發現我的白血球數目飆得很高，讓我父親想到是不是小時候的血癌復發？但是他沒有跟醫生說。醫生打了一針可以快速退燒的藥，就是阿斯匹靈，當下我眼前一片黑暗、吸不到空氣，就休克了。雖有再恢復神智，但是沒有退燒。

第七天，晚上全家禱告時，父親突然叫停，問我說：「你是不是做了甚麼錯事？要不然禱吿怎麼都沒有用？」我才承認靈恩會聖餐禮的這件事。但我說：「我有領聖餐啊！這樣有錯嗎？」父親說：「只要主耶穌認為錯的，就是錯，悔改就是了。」然後我們就再一次全家禱告，當下我就流出了汗，退燒了。

這件事給我很深刻的教訓：「主耶穌認為錯，就是錯！」不要懷疑！要我只聽主的話，不要自己去分析、判斷。願一切榮耀頌讚都歸於天上的真神，阿們！

我們若說自己無罪、便是自欺、真理不在我們心裏了。我們若認自己的罪、神是信實的、是公義的、必要赦免我們的罪、洗淨我們一切的不義。（約壹 1：8-9）

By Isaiah Kao

A Testimony of Someone Who Once Did Not Confess (Proverbs 28)

“One who conceals his wrongdoings will not prosper, But one who confesses and abandons them will find compassion.” (Proverbs 28:13 NASB2020)

As people grow older and gain higher status, they often unknowingly lose the ability to think and reflect, leading to a failure to admit their mistakes and ultimately becoming a fool. Even after baptism into Christ, only the sinful body is washed away, but the sinful nature is not completely washed away. This lingering sinful nature is our future enemy, making confession and repentance a key focus of daily spiritual cultivation.

“Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death?…. knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin;” (Romans 6:3, 6 NASB2020)

If anyone thinks he is perfect, he is deceiving himself. How can a person be completely undefiled in an environment filled with dust, lust, and materialism? At this time, Bible reading, self-reflection, repentance, and practicing the Word become essential daily lessons.

“If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.” (1 John 1:10 NASB2020)

“so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” (Ephesians 5:26-27 NASB2020)

Refusing to admit mistakes for the sake of reputation will not bring prosperity. God will be merciful to those who are willing to humble themselves, confess, and forsake their sins. God will forgive all our sins according to His will. If we do not cleanse our souls daily with the Word, how can we enter the heavenly city when we are filthy? Daily Bible reading and cleansing with the Word will grant us sleep feeling clean and a daily hope of salvation. Without Bible reading, one cannot see one's own sins, because the Bible is like a mirror reflecting the soul; those who do not look in the mirror cannot see their own problems. God's workers who don't read the Bible are always self-satisfied and will become increasingly proud the more they serve.

“But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not just hearers who deceive themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who has looked intently at the perfect law, the law of freedom, and has continued in it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an active doer, this person will be blessed in what he does.” (James 1:22-25 NASB2020)

I once met an older brother in church who was willing to fast and pray every Sabbath at noon until the afternoon service. However, he had many interpersonal problems and often clashed with others. Even so, he was still very proud of his "fasting prayer," believing himself to be very devoted spiritually. Even though peachers and elders had tried to "advise" him about his problems, he simply wouldn't change. As Proverbs says here:

“One who turns his ear away from listening to the Law, Even his prayer is an abomination.” (Proverbs 28:9 NASB2020)

Not listening to the law is like refusing the cleansing of doctrine, refusing human admonition, and refusing daily Bible reading and self-examination. In such cases, even abundant prayer is in vain.

“Let’s examine and search out our ways, And let’s return to the Lord. We raise our heart and hands Toward God in heaven; We have done wrong and rebelled; You have not pardoned. You have covered Yourself with anger And pursued us; You have slain and have not spared. You have veiled Yourself with a cloud So that no prayer can pass through.” (Lamentations 3:40-44 NASB2020)

I often hear this older brother sigh and say that he has prayed to God for so long about his problems, but they haven't been resolved. He doesn't realize that his prayers have been blocked by God's anger and have "never" reached God. For: 

“How blessed is the person who fears always, But one who hardens his heart will fall into disaster.”(Proverbs 28:14 NASB2020)

But what is considered wrong? I remember when I was in my first year of high school, my junior high school teacher held a graduation reunion, but it was actually held during a spiritual convocation at Ximen Church. I made a compromise: I would attend the reunion briefly during spiritual convocation service and then rush back to receive Holy Communion. I did just that, without listening to any sermons during spiritual convocation, just rushing back to receive Holy Communion.

That night, I suddenly developed a high fever for no apparent reason, my temperature remained above 39 degrees Celsius. My parents took me to a nearby clinic to see a doctor and give me medication, but nothing worked. My father asked the whole family to pray together every night after dinner for my fever, but it didn't subside. I didn't go to school that week. One day, my father took me to see Dr. Li Changhong, a brother from Chiayi Church, to see if there was a better treatment. A blood test revealed that my white blood cell count was very high, making my father wonder if my childhood leukemia had recurred. But he didn't tell the doctor. The doctor gave me an injection of aspirin, a fast-acting fever reducer. Immediately, everything went black, I couldn't breathe, and I went into shock. Although I regained consciousness, the fever persisted.

On the seventh day, during family prayer that evening, my father suddenly stopped us and asked, "Did you do something wrong? Otherwise, why isn't our prayers working?" I then admitted what happened during spiritual convocation and how I took the Holy Communion. But I said, "I did receive Holy Communion! Is that wrong?" My father said, "If the Lord Jesus deems it wrong, then it is wrong. Repent." Then we prayed again as a family, and immediately I broke out in a sweat; the fever subsided.

This experience taught me a deep lesson: "If the Lord Jesus deems it wrong, then it is wrong!" Don't doubt! I must only listen to the Lord's word and not analyze or judge for myself. May all glory and praise belong to the true God in heaven, Amen!

“If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:8-9 NASB2020)